2019: Recalculating

Last year was tough for me. Health wise, I struggled quite a bit. The physical pain, unfortunately, impacted my emotional health and stamina. I could barely motivate myself to get things done.

And so, in this New Year, I am trying to find that motivation, that zeal for creativity again. Many people pray for a word to guide them throughout the year. I prayed – well, sort of. My mind just could not focus. But what I found my mind retreating to over and over again was the word “Recalculating.” It was even in that Garmin voice! This word feels right, it makes sense. Sometimes we get off track and we need a nudge to get back on the right path. God’s path.

I have been prescribed some home physical and occupational therapy, and new medicine which should help me concentrate better. These are interventions for my body and mind, but what about my soul? Well, a recalculation in my prayer life is underway, too! I have several good books to read, and podcasts to follow. It’s important for me to complete tasks that others depend on, like DCCW work, but also for my times of rest to be truly restorative. (I found much of my down time was spent mindlessly scrolling through Facebook or binge watching Netflix, then I felt guilty about not doing what needed to be done. Then I sat overwhelmed and stuck. Vicious cycle, right?)

All this to say that I realize God is not done with me yet! He has more plans for me, and I believe those plans are going to be exciting! God is not about mediocrity; He is about excellence and fruitfulness. This doesn’t mean busyness. It means being a good steward of time and talent. It means leaning on Him more and calling on the Name of Jesus when we struggle.

My physical disability is still real and it still hurts. God may choose to heal me, but my sense is, He wants to work through me in this condition. I don’t know why. But I do trust Him. So, we’ll see how this year goes. I’m already making more cards and doing more exercise, and my Rosary is getting more use. I believe this recalculation is going to work out quite well!

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